A
Step in the Write
Direction
March
23, 2015
Update:
In my Jesus Calling reading for
yesterday, the author’s theme was “Rejoice.” Right, I thought. It had been a
difficult day—the first Sunday I sat in church without my husband by my side.
Then later signing birthday cards with only my name brought me to tears,
especially the one to my daughter, signing it just “Mom” instead of “Mom and
Dad.” Then I realized, I can rejoice—in the 54 wonderful years we had
together, in the fact he’s now free from pain, and in knowing where he is now.
Later while proofreading a book on doubt, the author encouraged us not to
dwell on what we didn’t have the
answers for, but in what we did. And
again I realized the facts I did
know:
·
Jesus
loves me
·
He
forgave my sins
·
He
died in my place
·
He
rose again,
·
And,
because He lives, I can face today and tomorrow and the days
following.
Thought
for Today:
"Temptation is the devil looking through the keyhole. Yielding is opening the
door and inviting him in" (Billy
Sunday, evangelist and baseball player—1862-1935).
Song
for Today:
Because
He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives!
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives!
(Bill Gaither)
Laugh
for Today:
What
happens when you fall in love with:
·
A
chef? He spices up your life.
·
A
chauffeur? In his eyes, you take a backseat to no one.
·
A
telephone operator? He reaches out, touches your heart, and you always have a
special connection.
·
A
clockmaker? He always makes time for you.
·
A
pastry cook? He spends all his dough on you.
·
A
shoe salesman? Your sole is lifted up.
·
A
jogger? He's there for you when you're run down. (Gospel Greats newsletter,
2/10/15).
Writer’s
Tips: More “Show, Don’t
Tell”
Show Through Dialogue:
First Draft:
“Goodbye, dear,” Janet Collins
bent down to kiss her husband. “I’ll try not to be too late.”
“Okay,
honey,” Jim replied. Turning his attention back to the television program, he
didn’t notice how his wife’s shoulders drooped as she walked out the door. But
as he heard her start the car engine and back out of the driveway, the old
feeling of guilt returned as it did every Sunday night. He tried to brush it
away.
After
all, he went to church with her every Sunday morning. Why was she always so
disappointed when he wanted to stay home at night? He was tired. Lately he’d had
to work on Saturdays and even some Sundays at the office to finish up a big
government contract. Janet knew that. And she knew how lucky he was to still
have a job when many of the other engineers had been let go. (“Weighed in the
Balance,” Donna Clark Goodrich, Standard, 10/17/76.)
My rewrite, giving same information, but
using dialogue:
“Goodbye, dear.” Janet Collins
bent down to kiss her husband. “I do wish you would go with me.”
“I go
with you every Sunday morning,” her husband replied, barely looking up from the
TV. “I’m tired.”
“You’re always tired lately.” Janet picked up her
Bible. “Ever since you got your promotion, you don’t even make it on Sunday
mornings sometimes.”
Jim turned impatiently in the swivel rocker. “You
know we have that big government contract to finish.” Before his wife could
answer, he went on, “And you know how lucky I am to still have a job when many
of the other engineers have been let go.”
“I know.” Janet’s shoulders drooped. “I’ll try not to
be late.”
As Jim heard the car back out of the driveway, the
old feeling of guilt returned as it did every Sunday night.
* * *
This is “showing” rather than “telling.” The dialogue
not only moves the story along, but also introduces us to Jim and Janet and
shows the conflict between them. Note the absence of “he said” and “she said.”
We can tell who’s talking by their action.
Have a good week spreading
the
gospel
through the printed page.
Donna
Clark Goodrich
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