A Step in the Write Direction, March 30, 2015--10 Common Mistakes by New Writers

A Step in the Write Direction

March 30, 2015

Update: Our district superintendent spoke at our church yesterday, talking about the new phase we are going through until we get a new pastor. Many of the things he said I realized I could use in my own personal life as I also enter a new phase. He told us that “God allows difficult situations to deepen our dependence on Him. He is walking right beside us to bring comfort and peace and words of encouragement to us.” He also said, “This could be an exciting time for our church” and I thought perhaps this could also be an exciting time for me in searching for God’s will for the days ahead, perhaps now being able to do things I couldn’t do before as a caregiver. …Talking about Peter walking on the water, he asked, “Is God asking you today to get out of the safety and security of your boat?”, then, “Your best days are not behind you; they are in front of you.” Good thoughts to keep in mind!

Thought for the Day: "Lord Jesus, in my haste to serve You through my writing, let me not run ahead on my own, trusting only in myself. Help me, instead, to be patient…to place my writing projects in Your hands…to follow Your timetable. Amen" (June Eaton, Christian Author Newsletter).

Song for the Day:

All the way my Saviour leads me,

Cheers each winding path I tread,

Gives me grace for ev’ry trial,

Feeds me with the living bread.

Tho’ my weary steps may falter,

And my soul athirst may be,

Gushing from the Rock before me,

Lo! a spring of joy I see.

Gushing from the Rock before me,

Lo! a spring of joy I see.

            “All the Way My Saviour Leads,” Fanny J. Crosby

Laugh for the Day: A Catholic priest went to the hospital to visit patients. Stopping at the nurse's station, he carefully looked over the patient roster and jotted down the room number of everyone who had "Cath" written boldly next to his name. That, he realized later, was a big mistake. "It was only after I had made the rounds,” he said, “that I learned they were all patients with catheters."

Writer’s Tips:

A favorite question received by Chip MacGregor: “What 10 editorial mistakes do most novice authors make?” I suppose if you asked this of 10 agents, he said, you’d probably get a hundred total answers, but here are his pet peeves with newbie authors: Too many exclamation points!!! A proposal that has not been proof-red Overpromising, as in “This proposal will sell a billion copies!” FEELING A NEED TO PUT LOTS OF WORDS IN ALL CAPS. Random numbering in an outline. I did this, I did that, I did this other thing, I, I, I. Random commas, that make no, sense. A failure to understand how to properly use “quotation” marks. (Also parentheses. And their attached punctuation). Failing to understand the difference between its and it’s (or there and their and they’re). The manuscript is passive due to the author. Chip MacGregor blog 3/23/15, used by permission

 Have a good week spreading the

gospel through the printed page.

Donna Clark Goodrich

dgood648@aol.com

www.thewritersfriend.net

http://donna-goodrich.blogspot.com

·          100-Plus Motivational Moments for Writers and Speakers – half-price $5, $2.69 s&h (This is free if you purchase 4 other books.)

·           A Step in the Write Direction—the Complete How-to Guide for Christian Writers (with assignments throughout); original copies now on sale for half-price--$12.50, $3.17 s&h)

·          The Freedom of Letting Go (with discussion questions; can be used in S.S. class or small group); original copies without questions now on sale for half-price--$7.50, $2.69 s&h)

·          Healing in God’s Time (story of Dave Clark, composer of 25 songs that have gone to #1 on the charts); was $15; now $10, $2.69 s&h)

·          The Little Book of Big Laughs (105 purse/pocket-size book of clean jokes); up to 4 for same s&h—$2.32

·          Preparing Your Heart for Christmas (31 Advent Devotions) half-price - $5

·          Michigan and Ohio Cookbooks; half-price $5 each, plus s&h (depending on number ordered)

·          Grandmother, Mother, and Me Anthology (stories, poetry, and recipes);

·          Grandfather, Father, and Me Anthology (stories, poetry, and recipes)

·          Celebrating Christmas with…Memories, Poetry, and Good Food

(above three anthologies now half price--$12.50, $3.17 s&h)

A Step in the Write Direction--March 23, 2015--More "Show, Don't Tell"

A Step in the Write Direction

March 23, 2015

Update: In my Jesus Calling reading for yesterday, the author’s theme was “Rejoice.” Right, I thought. It had been a difficult day—the first Sunday I sat in church without my husband by my side. Then later signing birthday cards with only my name brought me to tears, especially the one to my daughter, signing it just “Mom” instead of “Mom and Dad.” Then I realized, I can rejoice—in the 54 wonderful years we had together, in the fact he’s now free from pain, and in knowing where he is now. Later while proofreading a book on doubt, the author encouraged us not to dwell on what we didn’t have the answers for, but in what we did. And again I realized the facts I did know:

·        Jesus loves me

·        He forgave my sins

·        He died in my place

·        He rose again,

·        And, because He lives, I can face today and tomorrow and the days following.

Thought for Today: "Temptation is the devil looking through the keyhole. Yielding is opening the door and inviting him in" (Billy Sunday, evangelist and baseball player—1862-1935).

Song for Today:

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives!

            (Bill Gaither)

Laugh for Today:

What happens when you fall in love with:

·         A chef?  He spices up your life.

·         A chauffeur?  In his eyes, you take a backseat to no one.

·         A telephone operator?  He reaches out, touches your heart, and you always have a special connection.

·         A clockmaker?  He always makes time for you.

·         A pastry cook?  He spends all his dough on you.

·         A shoe salesman?  Your sole is lifted up.

·         A jogger?  He's there for you when you're run down. (Gospel Greats newsletter, 2/10/15).

Writer’s Tips:             More “Show, Don’t Tell”

Show Through Dialogue:

First Draft:

“Goodbye, dear,” Janet Collins bent down to kiss her husband. “I’ll try not to be too late.”

“Okay, honey,” Jim replied. Turning his attention back to the television program, he didn’t notice how his wife’s shoulders drooped as she walked out the door. But as he heard her start the car engine and back out of the driveway, the old feeling of guilt returned as it did every Sunday night. He tried to brush it away.

After all, he went to church with her every Sunday morning. Why was she always so disappointed when he wanted to stay home at night? He was tired. Lately he’d had to work on Saturdays and even some Sundays at the office to finish up a big government contract. Janet knew that. And she knew how lucky he was to still have a job when many of the other engineers had been let go. (“Weighed in the Balance,” Donna Clark Goodrich, Standard, 10/17/76.)

My rewrite, giving same information, but using dialogue:

“Goodbye, dear.” Janet Collins bent down to kiss her husband. “I do wish you would go with me.”

“I go with you every Sunday morning,” her husband replied, barely looking up from the TV. “I’m tired.”

“You’re always tired lately.” Janet picked up her Bible. “Ever since you got your promotion, you don’t even make it on Sunday mornings sometimes.”

Jim turned impatiently in the swivel rocker. “You know we have that big government contract to finish.” Before his wife could answer, he went on, “And you know how lucky I am to still have a job when many of the other engineers have been let go.”

“I know.” Janet’s shoulders drooped. “I’ll try not to be late.”

As Jim heard the car back out of the driveway, the old feeling of guilt returned as it did every Sunday night.

* * *

This is “showing” rather than “telling.” The dialogue not only moves the story along, but also introduces us to Jim and Janet and shows the conflict between them. Note the absence of “he said” and “she said.” We can tell who’s talking by their action.

 Have a good week spreading the

gospel through the printed page.

Donna Clark Goodrich

dgood648@aol.com

www.thewritersfriend.net

http://donna-goodrich.blogspot.com

·          100-Plus Motivational Moments for Writers and Speakers – half-price $5, $2.69 s&h (This is free if you purchase 4 other books.)

·           A Step in the Write Direction—the Complete How-to Guide for Christian Writers (with assignments throughout); original copies now on sale for half-price--$12.50, $3.17 s&h)

·          The Freedom of Letting Go (with discussion questions; can be used in S.S. class or small group); original copies without questions now on sale for half-price--$7.50, $2.69 s&h)

·          Healing in God’s Time (story of Dave Clark, composer of 25 songs that have gone to #1 on the charts); was $15; now $10, $2.69 s&h)

·          The Little Book of Big Laughs (105 purse/pocket-size book of clean jokes); up to 4 for same s&h—$2.32

·          Preparing Your Heart for Christmas (31 Advent Devotions) half-price - $5

·          Michigan and Ohio Cookbooks; half-price $5 each, plus s&h (depending on number ordered)

·          Grandmother, Mother, and Me Anthology (stories, poetry, and recipes);

·          Grandfather, Father, and Me Anthology (stories, poetry, and recipes)

·          Celebrating Christmas with…Memories, Poetry, and Good Food

(above three anthologies now half price--$12.50, $3.17 s&h)

A Step in the Write Direction, March 16, 2015--More "Show, Don't Tell"

A Step in the Write Direction

March 16, 2015

Update: It’s been a long week—with the viewing, the beautiful honor ceremony at the Veterans Cemetery, and then the memorial service yesterday. People talk about the “new normal,” although I’m not sure anything will be “normal” anymore. But I have so much to be thankful for: 54 wonderful years of memories, a great support group of family and friends, and so many emails, Facebook comments, cards, flowers, and gifts. I thank God for all of you….Now to get caught up on everyday things: three income taxes for customers, a proofreading job coming tomorrow, and an editing job later this week.

Thought for Today: “Our Saviour kneels down and gazes upon the darkest acts of our lives. But rather than recoil in horror, he reaches out in kindness and says, 'I can clean that if you want.' And from the basin of his grace, he scoops a palm full of mercy and washes our sin” (Max Lucado, do not know the book).

Song for Today:

When grief seems more than you can bear,

Your soul weighed down with anxious care,

And you are almost tempted to despair,

Jesus whispers ‘Peace.’

            Della McChain Warren, “Jesus Whispers Peace”

Laugh for Today:

Ten Signs You Are In For A Long Sermon

1. There's a case of bottled water beside the pulpit in a cooler.

2. The pews have camper hookups.

3. You overhear the pastor telling the sound man to have a few (dozen!) extra CDs on hand to record today's sermon.

4. The preacher has brought a snack to the pulpit.

5. The preacher breaks for an intermission.

6. The bulletins have pizza delivery menus.

7. When the preacher asks the deacon to bring in his notes, he rolls in a filing cabinet.

8. The choir loft is furnished with La-Z-Boys.

9. Instead of taking off his watch and laying it on the pulpit, the preacher turns up a four-foot hour-glass.

10. The minister says, "You'll be out in time to watch the Super Bowl." But it's only September! (Gospel Greats newsletter, 2/17/15).

Writer’s Tips:                        More “Show, Don’t Tell”

Don't overuse "he said," "she said."

            Don’t always have to say “he said” or “she said.” Three ways to avoid it:

            1) Change paragraph with each speaker;

            2) Follow dialogue with action line that mentions the character, i.e., "Like my mother before me, I inherited my magic," Gwen said.  She picked up the tattered parchment.

            "Like my mother before me, I inherited my magic."  Gwen picked up the tattered parchment.

            3) Call the other person by name.  "Just be patient, Gwen."

Writer’s Digest article:

“Most beginning authors have trouble with the use of the word ‘said.’ There is no reason to shy away from ‘said’ in dialogue. After all, words are spoken, not flung, ejaculated, whipped out, proclaimed, exhaled, blatted, hissed or cried. People ‘say’ things to other.

“To show you how bizarre this can become, Dick Perry in his book One Way to Write Your Novel (Writers Digest Books) shows how riotous and ridiculous dialogue becomes when the author strains at something other than ‘said’.”

“Hilda,” he murmured, “I love you.”

“Do you, Herbert?” she breathed.

“Yes!” he thundered.

“Are you certain you love me?” she whined.

“Why?” he gasped. “Don’t you love me?”

“I love you,” she yelled.

“You do?” he hissed.

“I’ll always love you,” he alleged.

“I’m so happy,” she whimpered.

“Me, too,” he panted.”

Sometimes just “said” is enough!

 Have a good week spreading the

gospel through the printed page.

Donna Clark Goodrich

dgood648@aol.com

www.thewritersfriend.net

http://donna-goodrich.blogspot.com

·          100-Plus Motivational Moments for Writers and Speakers – half-price $5, $2.69 s&h (This is free if you purchase 4 other books.)

·           A Step in the Write Direction—the Complete How-to Guide for Christian Writers (with assignments throughout); original copies now on sale for half-price--$12.50, $3.17 s&h)

·          The Freedom of Letting Go (with discussion questions; can be used in S.S. class or small group); original copies without questions now on sale for half-price--$7.50, $2.69 s&h)

·          Healing in God’s Time (story of Dave Clark, composer of 25 songs that have gone to #1 on the charts); was $15; now $10, $2.69 s&h)

·          The Little Book of Big Laughs (105 purse/pocket-size book of clean jokes); up to 4 for same s&h—$2.32

·          Preparing Your Heart for Christmas (31 Advent Devotions) half-price - $5

·          Michigan and Ohio Cookbooks; half-price $5 each, plus s&h (depending on number ordered)

·          Grandmother, Mother, and Me Anthology (stories, poetry, and recipes);

·          Grandfather, Father, and Me Anthology (stories, poetry, and recipes)

·          Celebrating Christmas with…Memories, Poetry, and Good Food

(above three anthologies now half price--$12.50, $3.17 s&h)

A Step in the Write Direction, March 9, 2015, More "Show, Don't Tell"

A Step in the Write Direction

March 9, 2015

Update: Luckily I had most of this blog completed early or else I wouldn’t have been able to send it. My beautiful, loving, caring husband of 54 years passed away Saturday night at 5:37 p.m. I don’t know how long it takes before it becomes real. My son-in-law just called and on their way home they saw a car with the license plate Revelation 21:4. He looked it up and called me. It reads: “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain…”

Thought for the Day: There's a story about the artist Rodin who one day saw a huge, carved crucifix beside a road. He purchased the cross and arranged to have it carted back to his house. But, unfortunately, it was too big for the building. So he knocked out the walls, raised the roof, and rebuilt his home around the cross (Best Sermons 3, Harper & Row, 1990, p. 115, found on sermons@clergy.net).

Song for the Day:

He giveth more grace as the burdens grow greater. 
He addeth more strength as the labors increase.

To added affliction He addeth His mercy;

To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.
When we have exhausted our store of endurance, 
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done.
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources, 
Our Father's full giving is only begun.

            Annie Johnson Flint, “He Giveth More Grace”

Laugh for the Day:
Once you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin and muffins are healthful (The Gospel Greats newsletter, 3/3/15)..

Writer’s Tips:                       More “Show, Don’t Tell”

Use Descriptive Words

Max Lucado in No Wonder They Call Him the Saviour (Portland: Multnomah Press, 1986, pp. 105-06) could have just said, “Tears are necessary to show our emotion.” But instead he said:

“Tears.

“Those tiny drops of humanity. Those round, wet balls of fluid that tumble from our eyes, creep down our cheeks, and splash on the floor of our hearts. They were there that day. They are always present at such times. They should be; that’s their job. They are miniature messengers; on call twenty-four hours a day to substitute for crippled words. They drip, drop, and pour from the corner of our souls, carrying with them the deepest emotions we possess. They tumble down our faces with announcements that range from the most blissful joy to darkest despair.

“The principle is simple; when words are most empty, tears are most apt.”

More Samples of Descriptive Writing

The Heart Remembers, June Masters Bacher, Harvest House.

*          "She had made a soft landing into the real world of        today."

*          "My mouth's so dry I could spit enough cotton to knit a sweater."

*          "It's a ten-hanky crying jag."

*          "One eye that, like his tie, always drifted to the left."

*          "We're all different.  Did you think God made a paper-doll pattern from Adam and Eve?"

 Have a good week spreading the

gospel through the printed page.

Donna Clark Goodrich

dgood648@aol.com

www.thewritersfriend.net

http://donna-goodrich.blogspot.com

·          100-Plus Motivational Moments for Writers and Speakers – half-price $5, $2.69 s&h (This is free if you purchase 4 other books.)

·           A Step in the Write Direction—the Complete How-to Guide for Christian Writers (with assignments throughout); original copies now on sale for half-price--$12.50, $3.17 s&h)

·          The Freedom of Letting Go (with discussion questions; can be used in S.S. class or small group); original copies without questions now on sale for half-price--$7.50, $2.69 s&h)

·          Healing in God’s Time (story of Dave Clark, composer of 25 songs that have gone to #1 on the charts); was $15; now $10, $2.69 s&h)

·          The Little Book of Big Laughs (105 purse/pocket-size book of clean jokes); up to 4 for same s&h—$2.32

·          Preparing Your Heart for Christmas (31 Advent Devotions) half-price - $5

·          Michigan and Ohio Cookbooks; half-price $5 each, plus s&h (depending on number ordered)

·          Grandmother, Mother, and Me Anthology (stories, poetry, and recipes);

·          Grandfather, Father, and Me Anthology (stories, poetry, and recipes)

·          Celebrating Christmas with…Memories, Poetry, and Good Food

(above three anthologies now half price--$12.50, $3.17 s&h)

 

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"A Step in the Write Direction--the Complete How-to Guide for Christian Writers"