A Step in the
Write Direction
March 31,
2014
Update: Our
missionary speaker at church yesterday used a term that described how I’ve been
feeling lately: “holy unrest.” Do you ever get hungry for something more—a
closer walk with God, a burden for unsaved loved ones, to see a real revival
break out in our church and in our country? He said a mail carrier, discovering
he was a pastor, asked him, “How are things in your little church?” He replied
that it wasn’t a little church; it was one of the largest in town. Then the
carrier said, “No, I mean your ‘little’ church, your home? How is it with your
family?” The speaker then said yesterday, “We won’t have change in our ‘big’
church until we experience a change in our ‘little’ church.” Good thought!
Perhaps something we write today can help make a change in someone’s
life!
Thought for
Today:
“God
is at his best when our life is at its worst” (Max
Lucado).
Writer’s Tips: Avoid
Wordiness
Weak:
Bob went
to his car, opened the door, and sat down behind the wheel. Closing the door, he
fastened his seat belt, then he adjusted his rearview mirror, and looked in his
glove compartment for his sunglasses. Finally finding them, he took a tissue
from the cup holder and cleaned the glasses. Then he put the car in gear and
backed out of the driveway. Reaching the end of the driveway, he looked to the
right and to the left, before heading east down the street. Reaching the corner,
he stopped at the stop sign. Seeing no one coming, he continued on his way.
After stopping at several traffic lights, he finally arrived at the restaurant
where he was to meet his client for lunch.
Better:
John pulled out of the driveway, and ten minutes later he arrived at the
restaurant where he found his client waiting.
I’ve chosen some samples of wordiness from manuscripts I edited. They
are used with the permission of the authors.
Wordy: He did
not take the time to file a flight plan, which he usually did just before
take-off.”
Better: He did
not take the time to file his usual flight plan.
Wordy: “She
invited ______ to be seated, then she set the table and placed two mugs of water
into her microwave oven, preparatory to brewing tea. When the water was
sufficiently hot, she inserted a tea bag in each mug and closed the door while
the tea steeped.”
Better: “She
invited _______ to be seated, then she prepared two cups of tea.” How much
does your reader need to know?
Wordy: “She
raised her hand and stiffened her finger that was shaking and pointing to a
crude sign nailed to the top of a cross.”
Better: “She
pointed a shaky finger to a crude sign nailed to the top of a
cross.”
One of the best ways to improve on wordiness is to enter contests in
which the entry has to be 50 words or less. You discover how many words are
absolutely unnecessary.
Sometimes when I typed term papers for students (before computers!), I’d
end up with one word to go onto the next page. In most cases, it was simple to
omit a word without changing the meaning. However, while typing a book for a
friend, this was not the case. She had written so tightly that not one word
could be removed without changing the context. Strong writing,
indeed.
Have a good
week spreading the
gospel through
the printed page.
Donna Clark
Goodrich
dgood648@aol.com
www.thewritersfriend.net
http://donna-goodrich.blogspot.com
"A Step in the Write Direction--the Complete
How-to Guide for Christian Writers"
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