Sunday, March 9, 2014

A Step in the Write Direction--March 10, 2014--Strong verbs

A Step in the Write Direction

March 10, 2014

Update: It’s been quite an interesting week: Tuesday I took my sister out for her 83rd birthday…  Wednesday I took the light rail into Phoenix and met my “bestest” friend at the Spaghetti Factory (she drove in from Sun City). She’s taking a new drug for hepatitis C which leaves her quite fatigued, but we had a good visit…Thursday I spoke at a PrimeTimers luncheon (seniors) at a nearby church on “The Freedom of Letting Go,” and gave the same talk Saturday at a Woman’s Wellness Day, and also a talk on “Your Four Selves” (what you think you are, what others think you are, what you really are, and what you can be with God’s help). Had to leave partway through for another funeral at our church…Just finished proofreading a 147-page book and have two income taxes to do tomorrow, then I think this week will be a little quieter. But who knows? Oh yes, my hubby took another fall last night—scraped his knees (which we have to watch carefully as he’s had MRSA on one of his knees from another fall), and also his left hand is swollen and bruised, so will keep an eye on that. It’s never dull at our house!!

Thought for the Day: Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself (Eleanor Roosevelt).

Laugh for the Day: An elderly woman, never married, requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, “They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.” 

Song for the Day:
All the talents I have I have laid at Thy feet;
Thy approval shall be my reward.
Be my store great or small, I surrender it all
To my wonderful, wonderful Lord.
                        —Haldor Lillenas, My Wonderful Lord,

Writer’s Tips – Strong verbs

            Okay: She closed the kitchen window.
            Better: She slammed the kitchen window.

            Okay:   Fran looked at her husband across the table.
            Better: "She stared or glared or gazed at her husband" (depending on her mood).

            Okay: Judy came into the room where her friend sat...
            Better: Judy burst into the room..."

            Okay: Judy walked into the room.
            Better: Judy stomped (noisily??) into the room (don’t need adverb—stomped is noisy)
                        Judy tiptoed (quietly??) into the room (don’t need adverb—tiptoed is quiet)

            Okay: Jesus was sad.
            Better: Jesus wept.

            Okay:   Judy said to her husband.
            Better: Judy yelled at her husband.

            Okay:   He walked through the water. 
            Better:  He sloshed through the water. (picture of a puddle)
                        He waded through the water. (picture of deep water)

            Okay:   He walked down the hall.
            Better: He darted through the crowded corridor.

            Okay:   She picked up the package.
            Better:  She grabbed the package.

Paint a picture with your words so your readers can see what’s happening!

 Have a good week spreading the
gospel through the printed page.

Donna Clark Goodrich

"A Step in the Write Direction--the Complete How-to Guide for Christian Writers"
"The Freedom of Letting Go"
"Healing in God's Time"
"100-Plus Motivational Moments for Writers and Speakers"

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